In My House

…you hear the craziest things. I’m collecting them, for your amusement. Or evidence, at the trial.

Basically, I just lost at marriage: Easter Edition

04.21.2017
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Remember the year I forgot to get my husband a chocolate bunny and he was devastated? Which was like three years ago, so go me for remembering. Sort of. As Meatloaf said, “Two outta three ain’t bad.” So, anyway, I really stepped up my Easter game this year. Got to make a basket for my granddaughter […]

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Moms Know More

05.08.2016

I’ve been doing some revising and apparently, my mom grew impatient with how long I was not doing whatever it was she wanted me to do. Mom: Should it take that long to revise a chapter? Me: Yes. How many chapters have you revised? (I got a little salty, which is one of those phrases I […]

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He Put It On Twitter, Though

04.30.2016

So, I’m one of those people who have conversations with other people as I’m waking up. Sometimes they can be quite ridiculous and result in said people (aka my family) laughing at my expense. You might as well join them. A few days ago, my husband was trying to wake me up. Me: Stop being […]

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In My House: Jazz Hands and Math

10.23.2015
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Actual thing I just had to say: Don’t do wild jazz hands while your sister is trying to do math. Math and jazz hands do NOT go together.

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We Totally Didn’t Screw That Up

07.31.2015
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Today, I’m sharing with you a conversation between my husband and me, as we stood arm-in-arm and watched my stepdaughter dance with her new husband after the wedding. She’s a nurse as well as just an independent, kind person. Him: I can’t believe we didn’t screw her up. Me: I know, right? We did good. Here’s hoping we’ll […]

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5 Things: I learned raising 3 girls

06.19.2015
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1. It’s totes acceptable for a forty-year-old woman to say adorbs, fab, and obvs. (That’s obviously, for those not in the know.) It’s totes acceptable to say those things at home, where your kids just roll their eyes. Because if you say those things outside, people look at you like you just grew another head. 2. […]

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The Saga of Susan and Michael

04.24.2015
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My youngest kid has an active imagination. And she’s more often than not got a quippy comeback for everything. Every. Thing. So, allow me to introduce her lizard/dolphin family (The dolphins are the adoptive parents of Susan and Brenda). What’s amusing to me is that this isn’t a one time thing. They have been Susan, […]

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Fix This Now

01.30.2015
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 Mom, we’re doing this thing in school where we have to correct these essays with spelling and grammar errors. Ms. [Red-Hands*] handed me mine and I thought, ‘Oh, my gosh– I’ve got to fix this now!’. I blame you.” Me: I love you. so. much. *It’s an inside joke** AND a way for me to not […]

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Basically, I’m Always Right

12.19.2014
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Guess who had to buy a hot water heater and spent 24 hours without hot water which, I know, is so first-world-whiny, but it was awful. Anyway, this happened. Me: That tank isn’t going to get by that pipe. Husband: Yes, it will. Three hours later… Husband: I had to take out that pipe. The […]

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Rightness Reinforcement

11.21.2014
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 Remember when the cat kept peeing on the bed and I looked it up online? And I told you she was stress-peeing? You laughed at me, but we switched her to wet food, and I mixed it with water, and that totally did fix it? Him: Yeah…? Me: Good times, good times. FYI, I have […]

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