1. It’s totes acceptable for a forty-year-old woman to say adorbs, fab, and obvs. (That’s obviously, for those not in the know.) It’s totes acceptable to say those things at home, where your kids just roll their eyes. Because if you say those things outside, people look at you like you just grew another head.
2. I’ve had the sex, period, pregnancy, and STD talks so many times and answered so many awkward questions, I can now discuss anything. ANYTHING. Seriously, I’m considering renting myself out to other moms.
3. Nothing on this Earth or in hell compares to taking a teenage girl shopping. I’d explain how awful it is, but… I’ll start crying.
4. I’m really good at ruining lives, having ruined all their lives on multiple occasions.
5. “You’re not leaving the house like that,’ is not something a tween/teen girl can apply to any future situations, no matter how smart she is. You will still always have to say it, thus ruining her life. Obvs.
Everything I learned raising three brilliant and hellacious daughters. Click To Tweet