I love looking at what search terms led people to my site–mostly because it’s so messed up. For your consideration, I offer the following:

zombies will never happen,” “zombie love,” zombie love story,” and “scientific zombie study.”  I tell you, I have become the queen of zombies.  And I write contemporary romance–not paranormal.  There are no freaking zombies in my manuscripts (not that there’s anything wrong with that).

I also got “people flirt.” Well, yeah.  They do.  But what’s this got to do with me?

Someone else searched “laurie sizemore aadom.”  Which is not me.  But, at first, I thought was cool, because I thought, “Double A Dom?” But no.  It’s American Association of Dental Office Managers. Boring.

Finally, and perhaps worst/best of all: “lori sizemore nude.”  That’s not ever gonna happen.  But you can see Lori, the zombie!

It’s that time of the month again where we laugh at the fact that no agents or writers or, dream of dreams, readers are visiting my site.  The only ones visiting are those crazy spambots and people making very strange search requests.  Here we go!

  • nix nix

Really?  What in the whole world do you need to know about this?  Well, hmm.  Googling revealed that, according to the Urban Dictionary:

A middle aged man who plays computer games and has large man Breats. (Nix-Nix-Pix-Nix)

That’s actually worse being associated with than I originally thought.  Thanks.

  • a zombie love story, scientific study zombies, zombie love story

That’s right.  This month is still all about the zombies.  I’ve gotten some serious random hit mileage out of that insane zombie research.  So… thanks, Mr. Smith?.

  • gmc wordpress theme

WE know what the GMC is.  But what is this person looking for?  Did Debra Dixon design a theme?  Oh, wait.  Google reveals all.  They mean GMC the car company.  Well, welcome to Ink Diva Diaries, car enthusiasts!

  • unblocked writer

I know what writer’s block is.  This just sounds like a writer who’s been hitting the prunes.  No, wait.  It’s an actual website*.  With like two pages, discussing why writer’s get blocked.  Okay.  Well, you’re better off here, unblocked writer.  That blog looks abandoned.

  • is there an open sentence when writing a synopsis?

Um, say huh?  I’ll go ahead and answer this for you: yes.  It’s a letter.  With several paragraphs.  And one first paragraph.  That necessitates an open sentence.

Wait, don’t go.  I’m sorry.  If you give me more than that search string, I’ll totally try for a real answer!

Best of all, other than a couple of people checking out teh Kevin Spacey,

  • lorie ann sizemore randleman nc 27317

That’s not me, FYI.

*unblockedwriter.com, such as it was, no longer exists.  However, since June 2010, a much more active, similarly named site sprung up titled theunblockedwriter.com.

I wrote a post ages ago about a quiz I took.  I entitled that post “‘You are a saucy flirt!’ –Lake Placid.” I even attributed it to the source, like a good writer.  Since then, every month, I get a hit or three based on a search for a “saucy flirt.”  Seriously.  Who are you, and why are you looking in a search engine for a saucy flirt?  Wait.  Don’t answer that.

I also always get visitors from people searching my name.  I’m probably not the Lori Sizemore they’re looking for, but it’s the other Lori’s fault she didn’t have the foresight to buy the domain first.  What is new, this past month, is a search for “lori zinke sizemore.”  What is a zinke?  And how is it related to me?  (Oooh, did you know google has a Wonder Wheel to show you related searches!  Nice one, Google.)

But this last search term is all new and made of win.  Someone came to my site with the search “are zombies really real.”  No. Lie.  Apparently, I am now a zombie expert.

Pic courtesy Getty Images

I had this whole post written and Firefox crashed.  The hell, Firefox?  This one is probably not as awesome as the first one.

I want to stick around a while and get my kicks.

Yeah, that was totally unrelated. I’m nixing the schedule. I’ll still keep posting, in the same categories, maybe some new ones. I’ve got some great stuff saved up for link licker and I think I’ve almost got this long synopsis thing at least under control–and I am totally posting on that process because anyone new at it, we need the help. The structure of a schedule helped me when I started, but when something stops working for you, it’s important to know when to let it go.

“What’s right is what’s left if you do everything else wrong.”

–Robin Williams

I’ve had a lot of personal things happening, really for the last month or so, but this week has been especially trying and busy. I’m going to take a small break. I’ll be back Monday.

Miss me!

I found myself without a material girl post for today, so I decided to go to my Amazon wishlist. Too much time spent on Halloween costumes and planning for Christmas, I suppose, has left the spotlight, and the finances, decidedly off of me.

But, my trusty wishlist didn’t let me down. Behold, the external hard drive. USB connection (means it’s easy to hook up), requires no external power source (powered by your computer, one less plug for you to have to find a spot for), Google software for searching the files (who doesn’t love Google?), good for Mac or PC.

If you have ever lost the last quarter of something you’re working on because you didn’t get around to backing it up or burnt it to a cd only to find out the cd is corrupted, then you need this baby.

I’m gonna get one…