The Saga of Susan and Michael

by Lori, @lorisizemore on 04.24.2015

in in my house

sueandmikeMy youngest kid has an active imagination. And she’s more often than not got a quippy comeback for everything. Every. Thing.

So, allow me to introduce her lizard/dolphin family (The dolphins are the adoptive parents of Susan and Brenda). What’s amusing to me is that this isn’t a one time thing. They have been Susan, Michael, and Brenda and they have been fruitful and multiplied (except Brenda).

Without further ado, overheard in my house…

Me: I found that lizard, the purple one, in the mess we call ‘your closet.’
P: Susan! That’s great, because these [lizards she bought today] are her babies. Now I just have to find Michael.
Me: I can’t believe you just threw Susan and Michael in the mess we call ‘your closet’ like that.
P: Well, they were planning to take a vacation.
Me: Apparently to Trashville, Indiana (I don’t know why Indiana, guys. Seriously, Indiana is lovely.)
P: Yeah. Hope we can find Michael. He’s got all these kids now, and he got lost on his way to the gift shop.

Later that day…

P: I found Michael. He brought back mugs and t-shirts that say ‘I heart Trashville, Indiana.”

suemike2

As you can see from the pic, we found everyone, including Brenda, who ran off to Lost Vegas with the Incredible Lizarus. No lie, y’all.

siglori

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DAfRN: House of Cards (Novel)

by Lori, @lorisizemore on 04.17.2015

in DAfRN

dating advice HOC3I mentioned last week that I’m reading the trilogy that inspired House of Cards (also the name of the first book). I have since finished and thought I’d throw down some rules.

Dating Advice from Romance Novels: House of Cards

  1. Don’t get crushes on married men. You may* not die, but you’ll definitely get hurt.
  2. How many times do I have to say it? Go for the nice guy!
  3. There’s this thing called age-appropriateness. No rule is true in every case, but if someone was pushing four decades when you were born, it’s got to make you wonder what you have in common. For example, my husband and I both grew up in the 80s. So when we run out of things to talk about, we can always rehash old Dukes of Hazard and A-Team episodes.
  4. It’s okay to not want romance. Empowering even, maybe. But don’t lie to yourself. 
  5. Don’t let your libido prevent you from seeing that he’s a sociopath.

siglori

*Spoiler Alert: You’ll totally die.

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Specifically, four years and four months older, which was the average “ideal” age gap as reported by a survey of 2,000 adults.

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House of Cards & Anti-heroes

04.10.2015

If you’re anything like me and most of the planet, you binge-watched House of Cards on Netflix when they debuted the entire season (like they do) in February. Confession: I’ve watched Seasons 1 and 2 three times. Once for each new season because this is a show you have to pay attention to. The smallest […]

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DAfRN: Party Girl

04.06.2015
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This week, I finished Party Girl by Rachel Hollis. It’s true stories of the author’s experiences incorporated into fiction (like The Devil Wears Prada). Dating Advice: Party Girl Don’t bounce between boys (or girls) like a ping-pong ball. It’s just never attractive when someone only likes another someone when the third someone is persona non grata. […]

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Master Tool for Learning Story Structure

03.27.2015
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Clearly, structure is something we all want to learn about. It’s one of my favorite topics. Structure is the skeleton on which our entire story hangs. In light of that, I wanted to share the most awesome resource I found.

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This Isn’t Really a Blog Post

03.07.2015

Because I’m over at Heart-Shaped Glasses this week. Complaining. Again. Print Friendly

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5 Things: People Who Read Are Sick of Hearing

02.27.2015
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I personally think readers are of superior intellect. I mean it takes some gray matter to take in words and transform them in our minds to a living, thriving story made up of people and places we’ve never seen. However, we still get a bad rep. Actually, if we got a bad rep, that might […]

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In Which I Freak Out a Cashier

02.20.2015
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C. and I were in Wal-Mart today and her ankle was hurting and I just always hurt after Wal-Mart. Usually, she loads the groceries in the back for me, but today, she said she needed help. I told her that was fine. She said, “We need to hurry,” and I replied, “We’ll throw these [groceries] in […]

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5 Things: You Didn’t Know About Me

02.13.2015
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You may also not care, but if you read any further I’m going to assume that you do. Or you’re very bored. I have two dogs and a cat. And three daughters, two of which are grown up ladies, which freaks me out. And maybe a partridge in a pear tree somewhere. Sometimes, I feel […]

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DAfRN: Heroes Are My Weakness

02.06.2015
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I recently finished Heroes Are My Weakness, by Susan Elizabeth Phillips. SEP, as I and most of the internet like to call her, is my favorite author. I love her messy characters, twisted situations, connections between lovers, friends, and families, and the hilarious bow that ties it all together. It goes without saying, I enjoyed […]

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