Rules I Live By #3: Born to Be Nice

by Lori, @lorisizemore on 07.04.2015

in rules I live by

540fcca1a4e83_-_manners_post-lgI was raised that it’d be better to tie a rock around your neck and jump in a body of water than be rude to people. Don’t get me wrong, this has not helped me at all when, say, a salesperson is rude to me. I’ll keep right on being nice. Nonetheless, these are the rules I live by.

I can’t help but be polite.

Let me tell you, was I in for a shock when I traveled above the Mason-Dixon line. Don’t get me wrong, I’m sure all of you up there are very kind people, but you are not sickeningly sweet, like iced tea. Something else you don’t have. For some crazy reason.

I thank everyone.

Speaking of iced tea, I can’t even buy one from the drive-thru without a sincere, “Thank you very much!” Sometimes, I thank people after I do something for them. Some weird ‘thank you for letting me take care of  you.”

I also use the other magic word–please.

As in “please don’t hit my car with that rock,” or “please stop standing on my foot.” It literally doesn’t matter what request I make, I have to couch it in a pleasing way.

I’m so sorry.

I am sorry for everything. Did you forget your umbrella like an idiot when it was already raining? (I do this constantly.) I’m sorry. Do you regret making an ass of yourself at your ex’s wedding? Golly, I’m so sorry. I can have zero culpability for whatever happened to you. I am still sorry for it.

Do manners rule your life, like it or not, or are you one of those strange creatures who can just speak up without thank yous, pleases, and I’m sorries?

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5 Things: Writers Do on Twitter That Annoy Us All

by Lori, @lorisizemore on 06.26.2015

in the tech, writing

I’ve noticed in the several years I’ve been on twitter, and followed many writerly folk, that interactions have changed. Instead of us all sharing our experiences, new behaviors have taken shape.

The only interaction you have with anyone is, “Hey, I have a book. Buy it now!”

I don’t mind if you tell me you have a book. I’ve gotten some cool books from people I already liked on Twitter. What I mind is when you only try to sell me a book.

Try to sell me a book. every. 5. seconds.

When does slamming someone with advertising ever work? If someone asks you to do something over and over, and never says anything else, does that work on you? Me, either.

Hop on to hash tags, like #amwriting, with their book or blog posts not about writing.

Hash tags are not a secret meeting that if you could get into, everyone would notice your thing and ooh and ahh. Hash tags serve a purpose and providing you with a ready-made audience isn’t it.

Retweet 17 random things in a row.

By in a row,I mean your random retweets are all I see in a very fast moving feed. It means you’re just pointing-and-clicking, boom, boom, boom. And I know why. You’re hoping people will retweet your ‘on sale now’ tweet.

Don’t give social media advice when you clearly don’t get how to do social media as an author.

I once had to unfollow someone who wrote a book on how to be on social media and sell your book. They were guilty of all the above. I shudder to think what their book was about.

Instead, just be genuine.

All the research shows that being genuine and interacting with people on social media will go much further than harassing or ignoring them will.Check out Kristen Lamb’s web site and books for better info on how to use social media in your favor. By the way, notice I said use social media. Everything I mentioned up there just smacks of using people.

siglori

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5 Things: I learned raising 3 girls

06.19.2015
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1. It’s totes acceptable for a forty-year-old woman to say adorbs, fab, and obvs. (That’s obviously, for those not in the know.) It’s totes acceptable to say those things at home, where your kids just roll their eyes. Because if you say those things outside, people look at you like you just grew another head. 2. […]

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Me, on Writing Accountability

06.12.2015

I wanted to share my post from the HSG blog this month because it’s about writing accountability. I have quazillioned my output this year and if you want to do the same, go read my post! Writing Accountability Print Friendly

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DAfRN: Queen Mab

06.05.2015
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I read Queen Mab by Kate Danley in less than a day. (BTW, I also read her book The Woodcutter and both are divine.) Naturally, a story with Romeo and Juliet at its center lends one to learn some awesome dating advice. Dating Advice from Romance Novels: Queen Mab Don’t let some dude talk you […]

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Starting a Story Too Late

05.29.2015
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I’ve recently been puzzling over a story that seemed to have everything going for it… and it just faltered. I’d written a hundred pages and blah, boring, and the heroine was just bitchy. It wasn’t working. Then I realized I started the story too late. We’ve all heard the warnings about starting a story too soon, […]

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Writing Through the Pain

05.22.2015

I’ve experienced a lot of tragedy in the last three months. In February, one of my friends since childhood was brutally murdered. In March, my grandfather passed away. And last week, my mother-in-law died from a sudden illness. I am exhausted. I don’t mean that to sound mean, like, “Oh, hey, people dying is very […]

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Revisited: The Importance of Pre-Writing

05.15.2015
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Then 12.19.08 The Importance of Pre-Writing I tried looking at pictures. Incidentally, Apartment Therapy is an awesome site.  So I bought a graph paper pad and I just drew the dance studio/apartment in no time.  I then described the way the rooms looked.  I included whoever’s viewpoint popped into my head, because different people see different […]

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5 Things: Thanks, Mom

05.08.2015
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In honor of Mother’s Day (hi, mom!), I thought I’d throw down five things my mom was totally right about. I will have a child just like me. I have three girls. In some tortuous way, they are each like me. Sometimes it’s an eye roll, sometimes a quippy retort I simply can’t rebut, and […]

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I’m That Mom

05.01.2015
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This morning, my daughter walked around the house, in the aimless way they look for something except they expect you’ll pull it from behind your back and save them the trouble. She was supposed to wear her school shirt today. Literally, everyone else will be wearing theirs. But, she went in the outfit she could find, […]

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