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Writing is an affliction, a disease of the soul, a rewiring in the head, like Asperger’s or some other form of autism. Like masturbation, it’s an uncontrollable and compulsive urge. It’s an obsession, a need, a drive. It’s not fun, and rewarding, and entertaining. It’s like having a bad movie play in loop in your head, so that your thoughts are either obsessing on words, or obsessing that your words are crap. It’s tortuous and exhausting, and if you could expel it from your possessed soul like an unwanted demon and be happy and content on a salaried wage, most writers would probably, in theirRead More →

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On changes in the romance genre: The relationships had also modernized: by the 1990s, it was rare to see a book which featured a man raping his future wife. via Romance novel – Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia. Yeah, thank goodness those crazy men finally came to their senses.  In the NINETIES.  What the? I get that this still happens in books.  Not books I read, but, it happens.  I get that some people enjoy this… forced intimacy.  But, damn it, who the hell marries someone who respects and loves them so little they just commit a crime against them?  Who else do they fall inRead More →

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In: progress
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I wrote a novel and finished it well over a year-and-a-half ago.  I submitted it to Carina Press (cross your fingers for me–still haven’t heard anything*).  It was a stand-alone book, but I knew when I wrote it there were two related books to be written.  I jotted down notes as they came to me and even wrote a loose outline. And then I moved on to the next story.  Because why write sequels to a book that may never be published?  Except, now that I’ve sucked it up and found some guts, I’m subbing it to agents and the previously mentioned publisher.  In myRead More →

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Found the first agent I’m going to send the new and improved, dedicated query to.  FYI: I found a list of agents here. Here’s my first quandry: I planned to submit to a publisher who requested a query, a 10 page synopsis, and 3 chapters.  I buckled down and got my synopsis finished.   This agent wants a query containing a one or two paragraph(!!!) synopsis and the first 3 chapters/50 pages.*  Now, I love when agents will accept pages.  I feel like I’ve skipped the request for a partial and gone for the good stuff.  But how am I supposed to condense 10 pages intoRead More →

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In: Link Licker
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This is not an amusing joke, like Zombie Harmony. This is real, serious research, people. What if zombies were real? What would we have to do to stop the spreading of this “infectious disease?” Some nuggets of wisdom.  You know, just in case. Professor Robert Smith? (the question mark is part of his surname and not a typographical mistake) and colleagues wrote: “We model a zombie attack using biological assumptions based on popular zombie movies. Okay, well, as long as it’s based on biological assumptions garnered watching movies. To give the living a fighting chance, the researchers chose “classic” slow-moving zombies as our opponents ratherRead More →

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In: I'm kind of a big deal. Not really.
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I recently wrote a post about my friend, Lea, and the anniversary of her passing. The post was more for me than anyone else. Crasty said: I added your blog to bookmarks. And i’ll read your articles more often! He commented again with: Valuable thoughts and advices. I read your topic with great interest. Really, Crasty?  Perhaps you should unbookmark me then, because I very rarely write about the death of close friends or even very personal topics.  Maybe you would enjoy Virtual Memorials a bit more. A couple of weeks ago, in a very short post consisting of three links and the word awesomeRead More →

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I got my first no from an agent today.  It’s actually more frustrating than soul-crushing.  They didn’t say no to my writing or to my manuscript.  They said no to a one page description of my story. I’m going to work some more on that one page description.  It’s only bad when everyone says no.Read More →

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Let me preface this by saying, I have children.  From 4 to 14, which means I watch everything from The Secret Life of an American Teenager to The Imagination Movers.  And, yeah, I realize my kids should be reading.  My kids do read.  They just also watch television and play video games.  Sueme.  TV is flashier and easier for them. There goes that point again, making a break for it.  Monday night, my daughter’s watched Spectacular, a much hyped, brand new movie from Nickolodeon.  Except, it’s not all that new. Premise: Boy is good at one thing, probably has a future as a professional.  BoyRead More →

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In: Material girl
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Remember this material girl recommend that I bought on the spot? I thought that the furniture stuck onto the paper, like colorforms.  I thought wrong.  It clearly says so, on the back of the book.  Unfortunately, it does NOT say so on Amazon’s web site. This is what I got: Click to enlarge, but you can see it’s like… some boxes.  And a few pages of graph paper.  Which I already had.  And mine’s nicer.  So, I recant my recommend.  Don’t buy it.Read More →

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In: Link Licker
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Bitterness Never be afraid to share your dreams with the world, because there’s nothing the world loves more than the taste of really sweet dreams. If you go over to Despair, Inc.’s site, you’ll find dozens more of these hilarious demotivators. I want them all.Read More →