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Remember the year I forgot to get my husband a chocolate bunny and he was devastated? Which was like three years ago, so go me for remembering. Sort of. As Meatloaf said, “Two outta three ain’t bad.” So, anyway, I really stepped up my Easter game this year. Got to make a basket for my granddaughter (which I filled with books because Nana Lori is going to make a reader out of that girl). And my daughters got things they were dying for but had no idea they were getting. It was great. Part of the reason I indulged so much is because my husband helpedRead More →

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Settle in for a little story. As usual with me, there’s some drama and a little bit of humor. You guys remember when I told you I’d become sick earlier this year, so sick I almost died? I wanted to tell you a little more about that. I was getting ready to send in my manuscript from what’s called an “R & R”–revise and resubmit. Even though I didn’t know they’d accept it, I just had a feeling. This was it, my chance to break into publishing. First, let me set the stage a little. I’d had surgery in December. And even though it wasRead More →

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I recently decided to jump on the bandwagon and read Hollywood Dirt. I couldn’t put it down until it was all gone. Plus, can you say, “Hot, hot, hot?” The heroine is just a normal girl from the South, so I thought dating advice would be totally helpful from this book (even if the hero is the hottest actor alive). Dating Advice from Romance Novels: Hollywood Dirt Always sleep in your good red panties and leave the front door unlocked. And sleep late, at least until a crazy sexy guy shows up to be overwhelmed by your hotness. Play hard to get. Apparently, that’s theRead More →

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Actual thing I just had to say: Don’t do wild jazz hands while your sister is trying to do math. Math and jazz hands do NOT go together.Read More →

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I am reading all the Megan Mulry books I can get my hands on (like I do when I discover a new-to-me fave author).  Without further ado, some guidance at looooove. Dating Advice from Romance Novels: If the Shoe Fits Save your v-card for just the right opportunity, then toss it aside for a fling, because that guy might turn out to be the love of your life. It’s really awkward when your dad comes in the morning after. Even when you’re in your twenties. It’s doubly awkward when you bring a fake boyfriend to make your fling jealous, then forget the poor slob to hangRead More →

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1. It’s totes acceptable for a forty-year-old woman to say adorbs, fab, and obvs. (That’s obviously, for those not in the know.) It’s totes acceptable to say those things at home, where your kids just roll their eyes. Because if you say those things outside, people look at you like you just grew another head. 2. I’ve had the sex, period, pregnancy, and STD talks so many times and answered so many awkward questions, I can now discuss anything. ANYTHING. Seriously, I’m considering renting myself out to other moms. 3. Nothing on this Earth or in hell compares to taking a teenage girl shopping. I’d explainRead More →

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I read Queen Mab by Kate Danley in less than a day. (BTW, I also read her book The Woodcutter and both are divine.) Naturally, a story with Romeo and Juliet at its center lends one to learn some awesome dating advice. Dating Advice from Romance Novels: Queen Mab Don’t let some dude talk you into moving your sacred bull or other sacred farm animals, because that just makes a whole century-long, life-or-death kind of mess. Don’t make wagers with aforementioned dude-who-already-tricked-you. Clearly, your bitterness will be your undoing. UNLESS, of course, you meet a guy who can only see the good in you becauseRead More →

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My youngest kid has an active imagination. And she’s more often than not got a quippy comeback for everything. Every. Thing. So, allow me to introduce her lizard/dolphin family (The dolphins are the adoptive parents of Susan and Brenda). What’s amusing to me is that this isn’t a one time thing. They have been Susan, Michael, and Brenda and they have been fruitful and multiplied (except Brenda). Without further ado, overheard in my house… Me: I found that lizard, the purple one, in the mess we call ‘your closet.’ P: Susan! That’s great, because these [lizards she bought today] are her babies. Now I justRead More →

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C. and I were in Wal-Mart today and her ankle was hurting and I just always hurt after Wal-Mart. Usually, she loads the groceries in the back for me, but today, she said she needed help. I told her that was fine. She said, “We need to hurry,” and I replied, “We’ll throw these [groceries] in the back like we’re trying to get rid of a dead body.” Fast forward, we’re checking out and C. is pulling the bags off the little turn-thing. I said, “Be careful, there might be breakable stuff in there.” I mean, Ragu isn’t free, amiright? C. said, “Mom, how are weRead More →

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Guess who had to buy a hot water heater and spent 24 hours without hot water which, I know, is so first-world-whiny, but it was awful. Anyway, this happened. Me: That tank isn’t going to get by that pipe. Husband: Yes, it will. Three hours later… Husband: I had to take out that pipe. The very. next. day… Husband: I think the dresser will fit there without any problem. Me: There’s no way. The bathroom door wouldn’t open. Husband: It would mostly open. (Whatever that means.) Me: I don’t think so. Remember the pipe? I don’t think you’re very good at this. A tape measure later…Read More →