Lori Sizemore

Unknown:

“Many of us spend half our time wishing for things we could have if we didn’t spend half our time wishing.”

Given the recent scientific study of zombies, my stumbling on this one night just seemed like serendipity.  It’s a very moving, engrossing, can’t-stop-reading piece of short fiction by Isaac Marion entitled I Am a Zombie Filled With Love.

Go on, read it.  Tell me it’s not awesome.

Update: Since I seem to be all about the zombies now (why?  no clue), I thought I’d throw this bonus link in: 30 Frighteningly Fantastic Zombie T-Shirts.

My favorite:

Okay, this isn’t a well-researched, in-depth look at love or romance or…well, anything.  I’m writing, give me a break.  You don’t tell the muse, “Not now, honey.  I’m busy writing this blog.”  You can totally tell your husband that, but not your muse.  That chick is vindictive and might not show up again for six months.  *I know*.

So, for your enjoyment, a very extensive list of endearments for your sweetheart.

This is not an amusing joke, like Zombie Harmony. This is real, serious research, people. What if zombies were real? What would we have to do to stop the spreading of this “infectious disease?”

Some nuggets of wisdom.  You know, just in case.

Professor Robert Smith? (the question mark is part of his surname and not a typographical mistake) and colleagues wrote: “We model a zombie attack using biological assumptions based on popular zombie movies.

Okay, well, as long as it’s based on biological assumptions garnered watching movies.

To give the living a fighting chance, the researchers chose “classic” slow-moving zombies as our opponents rather than the nimble, intelligent creatures portrayed in some recent films.

“While we are trying to be as broad as possible in modelling zombies – especially as there are many variables – we have decided not to consider these individuals,” the researchers said.

So, either we’re screwed if the zombies aren’t slow a la George Romero or these scientists are total bigots against fast-moving zombies.  Whatever, Mr. Smith?.  Not a typographical error.  It’s his real name.‘

In their scientific paper, the authors conclude that humanity’s only hope is to “hit them [the undead] hard and hit them often”.

They added: “It’s imperative that zombies are dealt with quickly or else… we are all in a great deal of trouble.”

You know, I sure am glad someone got this shit figured out before the actual zombie attack that will never happen.

According to the researchers, the key difference between the zombies and the spread of real infections is that “zombies can come back to life”.

Also: real infectious diseases are real whereas zombies are just some low paid actors dressed up in fake blood and gore.  Did you hear me, scientists?  Fake blood and gore.

What’s next?  The scientific answer of how to get Freddie Kreuger out of your dreams, for good?

The source and thank you to the lovely Jen, who found this gem.

I recently wrote a post about my friend, Lea, and the anniversary of her passing. The post was more for me than anyone else.

Crasty said:

I added your blog to bookmarks. And i’ll read your articles more often!

He commented again with:

Valuable thoughts and advices. I read your topic with great interest.

Really, Crasty?  Perhaps you should unbookmark me then, because I very rarely write about the death of close friends or even very personal topics.  Maybe you would enjoy Virtual Memorials a bit more.

A couple of weeks ago, in a very short post consisting of three links and the word awesome about 14 times, I linked to The Bloggess.

Here’s what John had to say:

I liked it. So much useful material. I read with great interest.

Useful for what?  I mean, yeah, it’s useful for a laugh, and she honestly rocks, but great interest?  You need a hobby, John.  And not like  mine, cruising the internet, instead of writing, and finding blogging gold.  Get your own.

And finally, we have Bunker.  He responded to my approximately five sentence post (one of which about how I was too lazy to write a real post) with this:

I really like your blog and i respect your work. I’ll be a frequent visitor.

If you want to spam me, it’s fine.  It’s not like the comments are going to break my server at this point, since I average one about every six months.  But, honestly, don’t patronize me, man.  I know you don’t respect me OR care about my dead friend.  Lying liars.

I’d love to have this book. (Makes a note to add to Amazon wishlist).  I’ve been reading the bitches for a couple of years now and I love them.  They’re funny “like damn and whoa,” they have awesome commenters, they call their readers the bitchery, and they’ve got something to say.  We shouldn’t be ashamed of loving our romances.  Hold those Fabio covers up proudly and proclaim to the world, “Yes, I am a smart bitch and I freaking love trashy novels!”

 

 

Found: A video made by assorted pubbed romance authors endorsing the greatness of their book (above).

 

I’m working full time this week because my friend and co-worker, Kristin (congrats!) got married today.  I know, poor me.  A whole 40 hours.  Don’t hate me if I miss a blogging deadline.  I promise to have a Material Girl Monday, though!

I think that I’ve outgrown pop quizzes.  They were all about doing something fun and delving into different aspects of romance, but they were more flash than substance.  Also, while completely random and silly, they were still personal, in that they were about me.  And why do you care if I kiss like a woman or what movie my love life is like?

So, from now on, Saturdays will be the day that I discuss romance.  Sometimes it’ll be something one could incorporate into their writing, or it might be inappropriately amusing, or it might be kind of touching, or… you know what?  We’ll just see where it goes, mmkay?

Up first:  How to Love on Wikihow.  Seriously?  People need directions?  The Idiot’s Guide to Being in Love?  On an unrelated note, I saw the book below, recently–don’t ask why, I had a very good reason, okay?–and it’s pretty freaking funny.  Unintentionally.  Which makes it funnier, still.

 

It’s called texts from last night.    And, there’s some seriously wrong texts there.  So, if you’re at work, or your kid is looking over your shoulder, or your grandma, or you think semen or queefs are gross, or you even need to look up the word, queef, don’t go there and be mad at me.

How is this related to romance or writing in any way?  It’s not.  It just makes me laugh.  And it’s link licker Thursday!

Hey, get over it.  It’s not like Santa forgot Christmas or something.  ANYWAY, going on the all writers are readers theory (I totally just made that a tag), which I have invoked several times, I believe, I found these adorable custom name stamps while looking for book plates on etsy.  Also, one of them has the sample name “Blythe,” which called to me since my mom harassed gently attempted to persuade me to name one of my daughters that.  Maybe I’ll use it in a book.  But she’ll probably be a totally evil villainess.  Or the catty town slut.  Oh, yeah.  I’m liking that one.