image

The book 11/22/63, by Stephen King, is about a fellow from modern day who is shown a portal back in time by a sick friend. Literally sick, not crazy sick.

The friend, who has the portal in the back of his diner and has been using it to go back to get really cheap hamburger, wants Jake to make better use of it than he did. I guess maybe because he’s dying of cancer and there’s that whole personal gain issue? I dunno. He explains to Jake that if someone went back, hung around for several years, tracked down Lee Harvey Oswald, and stopped the Kennedy assination, the world would be all sunshine and rainbows. There’s much more to it, and this is a phenomenal book.

It also, for me, was a love story at its very core. Because Jake meets Sadie. And she’s fragile (because of one whackadoo ex and parents who are very victim-blamey), very tall, and smart. Actually, I think I may kind of love her. Anyway, in honor of Halloween, horror, and a writer I love…

Dating Advice from Romance Novels: 11/22/63

  1. Don’t time travel. Bad shit will happen and you will be sad. Very, very sad.
  2. It is adorable and sexy to say “Oh, sugar,” the first time you really enjoy sex. I’m not being facetious for a change.
  3. Be honest. Just be honest because if she (or he) loves you, they will believe whatever crazy, delusional-sounding thing you say. But they will leave your ass if you keep secrets.
  4. True love doesn’t care about scars or weird age differentials caused by time-traveling.
  5. A person who loves you doesn’t try to change you, but they do help you become the very best you that you can be.

image

 

 

“Dating Advice from Romance Novels: Halloween Edition!” @lorisizemore http://bit.ly/1pxGtkV ~ Click to Tweet

image

image

So, last week, I finished not one but two (the only currently released, or it would’ve been more) books in the Nodaway Falls stories by Lucy March. March also writes (and has been recommended on this site) as Lani Diane Rich. I read two because I adored the first one. And then, I bought the second and realized that I was ready to settle down and have babies with it–that’s how much more I loved it. (Links to both books can be found at the end of this post.)

Dating Advice from Romance Novels: That Touch of Magic (Nodaway Falls #2)

  1. Always, always, always choose the slightly dorky but sweet and sensitive guy. Bad boys have their place, but only a good guy can crack a bad girl’s impenetrable exo-skeleton. That metaphor may have gotten out of hand. Dorks and bugs. Wow.
  2. Just because the love of your life cheats on you then leaves, for ten years, to join THE PRIESTHOOD doesn’t mean you’re not meant to be together. Yes, that really happens.
  3. Avoiding your feelings can have serious consequences. For example, you may not notice spontaneous magical mayhem erupting all over your town.
  4. If you literally catch fire when you kiss your love, be extra careful not to burn him (or her).
  5. It might be useful to deal with the verbal abuse you received at the hands of your wretched mother before you attempt to work out any relationship issues. (See number three).

image

image

“Dating Advice from Romance Novels; now with magic! @lorisizemore http://wp.me/p1pusj-1en ” ~ Click to Tweet

2014-09-26_01_56_290001This week, I finished the final book in the Scandal at the House of Russell trilogy by Anne Stuart. This series is my first from Ms. Stuart. I first read her in The Unfortunate Miss Fortunes, co-written with Jennifer Crusie and Eileen Dreyer. I enjoyed it quite a bit and put her on my TBR list. I can honestly say, I highly recommend all three of these novels. First of all, oh my–her heroes. Second, I read through the first two in about that many days and bitterly sat about to wait for my pre-order of the final book to come home to my Kindle.

Enough of all that. Let’s get to what you really came for.

Dating Advice from Romance Novels: Never Marry a Viscount

  1. If you find yourself violating the privacy of some unsuspecting albeit beautiful man, don’t feel too bad. He’s probably your soulmate.
  2. Titled men tend to lose their first wives under suspicious circumstances while pirates, Black Beard not withstanding, do not. So, you know, shoot for second wife status.
  3. Viscounts are apparently skilled in all manner of bedroom activities.
  4. If a viscount asks if you work for Mrs. Lefton, say yes. Trust me, you’ll be glad you did. (See #3.)
  5. Your beloved’s half-brother may be trying to kill you. And your sisters, their husbands, your shiny, brand-new fiance, and anyone who gets in the way. Because it’s all part of his destiny. Nothing for it, really.

If you’re enjoying DAfRN or have a book recommendation, I’d love to hear from you! Hit me up in the comments below, on twitter(@lorisizemore), or on my Facebook page. Thanks!

siglori

 

 

Tweet: “Dating Advice from Romance Novels: Never Marry a Viscount” @lorisizemore http://ctt.ec/nISC0+

2014-09-26_01_56_29So, I was thinking in the car today about what sort of advice I’m totally NOT qualified to give (conclusion: all the advice). However, I then decided, okay, fine… what advice am I really not qualified to give?

Dating advice. Oh, so many reasons why.

Exhibit A: I’ve been married so long, I’m not entirely sure of the number, but I believe I’m between years 18 and 19 of my life sentence. Exhibit B: I had very few real dates in high school. Like count on one hand. I had boyfriends come “courting” at my house (which should be Exhibit C, so let’s go ahead and call it), but only a few go-out-dates. Exhibit D: I got married at 21. As in, I became old enough to drink and then I got married and became a mother 13 months later (because that’s how efficient people get family done).

And then I had a brilliant idea…

What if I offered dating advice? Not from me; from whatever book I’m currently reading (usually romance, but not always!).

For example, here’s a little A Song of Ice and Fire advice: never insist that the witch whose village your buddies just burned, raped, and pillaged treat the tiny cut on your husband’s chest. Seriously. Neosporin that bitch and go on.

Dating Advice: Sweet Nothings

I recently finished reading Talk Sweetly to Me by Courtney Milan (from whom I. freaking. auto-buy. everything). Here are some quick dating tips:

  1. Have an adorable name so your darling rogue can use it in double entendre as often as possible.
  2. If a chick shows up at your door, in like 5 feet of snow, because her sister is having a baby, the doctor is a racist asshole, and she doesn’t know what to do because someone is going to die… she probably loves you and wants to make Sweet-ly love to you. (See what I did there? Double. Entendre.)
  3. Bigotry is no reason not to get married and have lots and lots of babies. (I did know that one already, but I’m pretty impressed I found it in an historical novel.)

I’m halfway through another book and already taking notes for you guys! See you soon.

siglori

 

 

Tweet: “Dating Advice from Romance Novels: Sweet Nothings” @lorisizemore http://ctt.ec/jat7r+